Things I Should Have Done Before Turning Twenty Five

So, next week is my birthday. I will be twenty five. I am entirely in denial of this fact and am not particularly looking forward to being in my late twenties.


See…not impressed

Here is why.

1. People assume you should have made something of your life by this point.

Sure it’s all fine and dandy to be adventurous, spontaneous and carefree in your early twenties, but once you crest that peak, it’s all suddenly “What are you doing with your life?” and “You aren’t going to work in retail or the service industry forever are you?” And of course the dreaded “Settle down” conversations that are ready in wait.

This will be the difference between next Monday and next Tuesday.  That is where this invisible line of responsible adulthood lies.

2.  That degree I got three years ago will be officially collecting dust.

I could invoke the “finding myself”clause up until now. Sure I’ll use the degree eventually, I just need to explore my options first. Well honey…not anymore. Yes I’ve done a few months of degree relevant work, but other than that, it makes a nice wall ornament.

3. I suck at being fun and emotional spinsterhood is my indeterminate future.

For a while now the ‘party scene’ has lacked any and all appeal to me whatsoever, and I’m sure this is because it’s compatriots are just getting younger by the second.  Being twenty five will explain this phenomenon and will banish me forever to wifey book clubs, baby showers and pampered chef parties.

So here’s what I say to all of that…

Screw all of it, just screw it. I am what I am, which happens to be me, twenty five years old, and I’m here in the most mundane city in Southern Ontario.  So what?

So I have three jobs right now, and that’s apparently not good enough, or somehow ‘doesn’t count’. What kind of bullshit is that?!  Screw you and your ageist opinions too! Out with you!

Screw doing these things before I’m twenty five, I’m gonna do them after, if I even do them at all, because I feel like it!

I’m going to travel the world, I’m going to write amazing things and I’m going to have so much fucking fun doing it, it’s going to make you and your fancy pants eye-bleedingly jealous!

So there!

I use this picture way too much, but screw that too! It's awesome!

I use this picture way too much, but screw that too! It’s awesome!

Keep being awesome my friends!

-Miss Hailey Jane


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