Author Archives: haileyjw

An Interlude

I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus here at Coffee and Turtlenecks and a lot has been going on in the sidelines which I feel I should share with you fine folk. In the past months I have been working away at the good old nine to fiver, going back to school and planning a rock solid future. I feel I have apparently turned into a proper adult while I wasn’t paying attention.

Never thought that was going to happen…

So to explain myself, starting from the beginning, we had moved out of the Lonely City of Windsor, and headed towards the quiet place where we call home. The Scugog area turned out to be comfortable and welcoming in contrast to the uncomfortable, cold city we had lived in for the past three or four years. Then, last June, after taking up the new hobby of becoming a magpie and buying all the shiny and glittery makeup I could find, we agreed it was a good idea for me to go back to school and become a professional Makeup Artist.

For the next three months I worked hard at perfecting my skills and learning new things at Beauty School, while also holding down a full time job. Sixteen year old Hailey, lover of all things black and emotional, was rolling in her grave, but life has a way of altering people. In this case I’m going to say it was certainly for the best.

I graduated with flying colours (get it?…..makeup…colours?….no?….anyway…) and am now a practicing freelance Makeup Artist, servicing my local area! This is really exciting to me and an opportunity to do something that interests me as well as helps pay the bills. I’ve been working really hard on my website and associated social media pages, as well as the business-ie side of things and getting my Professional Kit the best it can possibly be.

In the meanwhile, we’ve been repairing the barn on the family farm, and we are planning on eventually moving into the old farm house there, ideally next spring. I’m expecting a lot of potential post material on renovating that old house when we get in there, so let me know if that’s something you guys would be interested in reading about!

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Oh, and on the subject of new post material….the be all, end all of annoying things to write about constantly, has in fact happened to me. I have been proposed to, and at some point in the future am to be married. (See inserted photo of ring of awesomeness)

The ring

So maybe there will be the odd reference to plans in that department. Again I would appreciate as much feedback as possible about this tender subject or if I should in fact hold back on the wedding related content for now. Thoughts?

To recap, (Or if you skipped over the hooplah in the middle to the final paragraph, which to be honest I do sometimes…) in the past five months or so I have got another credential and started a thing which I am apprehensive to call a career (Because careers are for grownups), I have determined where I am going to live, and call my forever home (a very adult-ie thing to do…) and I have also been asked to be attached (figuratively) to one single other person for the rest of my life, and oddly enough agreed. So there you have it.

I don’t want to be to ‘self promote’-ie here  but if you are interested in my other website I’ll link it below. Otherwise hang tight for some more classic ‘Coffee and Turtlenecks’ material. I’m thinking Tea Reviews and How to Pick a Good Book, sort of stuff. Hey, maybe I’ll even knit something this winter! Here’s hoping!

Thanks again for all you folks who hang around to read my blatherings! You rock my mismatched weekend socks!

-Miss Hailey Jane

Makeup By Hailey: https://makeupbyhailey.wordpress.com/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/makeupbyhaileyj

Instagram: @makeup_by_haileyj


Urban Decay Electric Eyes: First Impressions

Hi Guys!

I’ve been trying my hand at splooging goo and powder on my face in an orderly and delicate manner and have chosen to share this particular experiment with you fine folks!

As my birthday is this month I decided to spoil myself and get the Urban Decay Electric Pressed Pigment Palette! I’ve been eyeing this beauty for a while and decided to just go all in, eyeballs first.

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Just look at how bright and beautiful it is! Here’s the first look I came out with! ….Just a heads up, it’s very Kesha.

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The palette itself is very striking, highly pigmented and bright. I hear tell that it stains, I have yet to try and take this pixie dust off, but I used a thick layer of primer and a neutral powder base, hopefully that’ll be enough. The camera doesn’t quite do the colours justice, they’re very bold, vibrant and surprisingly bendable. I wont ramble too long, because it’s been out for a while and i’m sure you’ve all heard 100 reviews on the darn thing. But… that being said, I may have found my new favourite thing!

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Products Used:

UD Electric Pressed Pigment Palette – Chaos, Jilted, Urban, Freak, Thrash (Basically the entire bottom row) and Revolt

UD Naked Basics – Walk Of Shame

MAC Matte Eyeshadow – Brule

Kat Von D Liner – Trooper

Rimmel Soft Kohl Liner – Pure White

Eyetini Swizzle Stick Liner – Blue Hawaiian

L’Oreal Voluminous – Black

Too Faced Shadow Insurance

Anastasia Brow Wiz – Medium

Maybelline Fit Me Foundation (Original Formula) – 115 Ivory

Maybelline Fit Me Concealer – 15 Fair

Elf HD Translucent Setting Powder

Rimmel Blush – 120 Pink Rose

MAC Mineralize Skin Finish – Lightscapade

NYX Blush – Taupe

MAC Lipstick – Blankety

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And just like that, BAM, it’s a wearable day look! Glasses for the win!

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Thanks so much for stopping by! Any questions, feel free to leave me a comment! xx

-Miss Hailey Jane

Photos taken on my Canon Rebel T3i

*All products purchased myself and all opinions are my own. As it happens my opinions are always my own, I’m sassy like that, if you don’t believe me you should totally ask my boyfriend…


The Month of the Moves

It’s been a time.

Days and days of lifting, carrying, pushing, pulling, boxing, unboxing, huffing, sweating and crying.

And it’s not even over yet. Three people moving in the same weekend in February is extremely ill advised. Coffee, I believe, is the only thing keeping me from the sharp edge of oblivion at this point.

Nothing makes you never want to buy an item of furniture again, or even look at one for that matter, like having to up and relocate oneself, one’s sister and one’s brother in law. The joy of this particular event though, was a severe lack of assistance and direction. Christopher is decidedly absent in the process, as well as said brother in law, and the rest of my immediate family has high tailed it to the Caribbean for the week as well.

It can all be summed up with one emphatic word: Exhaustion.

Wish me luck in the remainder of the process, and with hope I may crawl away alive, with a lovely new place for Smudge and I to live. I can’t wait to show it off!

Smudge and Ma

-Hailey Jane


Five Things We Should Outgrow in 2015

Welcome to 2015 and to start the year on a potentially offensive note, here is a quick list of things we should really outgrow in the year 2015. Let’s begin!

1. Burlap

I’m SO done with everything being covered in dirty brown sheets designed to cover trees and hold potatoes.  This post-apocalyptic inspired style should have ended along with the Cold War. What’s next? Burlap Prom dresses?

Oh…well then…

As an actual person from the ‘country’ I’m hoping this ‘Redneck-Chic’ trend flies out the window with the bathwater. Speaking of bathwater….

2. Greige

Is it Grey? is it Beige? No one knows! How trendy, am I right?   I am not right…it’s terrible. If not having been exacerbated by every single interior photo on Pinterest, this “colour”, if I may use the term loosely, has been a constant soul shattering staple of 2014. Grey is fine, lovely cool tones are a really great way to add a clean and calm atmosphere to a room. Beige is great, a lovely warm variant of white that can add a homey feel to the most dismal of apartments. But ‘Greige’! Come on people…pick a side!

It just looks muddy and unflattering even in the best of lights. Like the powdered skin of the freshly deceased, we should probably bury this colour in the dirt, where it belongs.

3. Mason Jars

Who knew you could use them for so many different and useful things? I didn’t, because we cant! They’re used for, at the very best…canning, and the very worst, drinking out of when the rest of your dishes are dirty. I have some unfortunate news for you, those ‘cute’ make-up brush organizers you made in your bathroom? They’re ugly. Those lights you rigged up, hanging on your porch outside?…They’re also ugly. Those pencil holders, hand soap pumps, embossed vases, candle holders, terrariums, fucking blender attachments…guess what? They’re all UGLY.

If this were a post called ‘The top five ways to instantly cheapen the look of your home”, then by god this would be number one. You’re not on social assistance, don’t act like it’s cool if you were.

4. Chalkboard Everything

If you want to dust your home every single day, then by all means, go right ahead and paint that entire wall with chalkboard paint! While you’re at it, why not paint your cabinets, the television screen, THE FUCKING REFRIGERATOR!

I kid you not…someone thought instead of opting for a decent looking used fridge, they would buy the cheapest one they could find, and then spend however much they’re gouging us for on chalk paint, to paint a refrigerator.  I don’t even know what to say to these people. Maybe you should discipline your kids and not have them think it’s OK to write all over the walls and appliances. Guess who’s not getting invited to Christmas next year… Just sayin’.

5. Ratchet DIY and Up-Cycling

This has been an overarching theme of 2014 across the board.  Recovering and re-purposing the old, turning it into something magical and new. Which in theory is great…but in practice (and the wrong hands) is a disaster. Much like Communism.

The recession is over people, you don’t have to make jewelry out of bottle caps any more! Nor light fixtures out of wine bottles, or candles out of liqueur bottles! Your friends are going to start to think you have a drinking problem with all of the alcoholic paraphernalia littered throughout your home. And I specifically use the word ‘Littered’ here. As a personal connoisseur of alcoholic libations, I would much rather see these things actually recycled and put to better use, like refilled, with more booze, and given to me.

Those lights are incandescent anyway so you’re still not saving the environment!

It doesn’t end there my friends, a quick internet search will find you in the midst of junkyard chic apartments, couches out of oil drums, car tire ottomans, pop tab lamp shades, and cheese grater flower boxes. I am at a loss of words… Wait, that’s a lie, I’m never at a loss for words. I could do a whole post on the crazy things people come up with and feel compelled to share with the world. T-Shirt dresses, crayon lipstick, circuit board running shoes, piano bookshelf.  Those words don’t even go together?!

Essentially, it is all a matter of style and the occasional item can be reused in a new and useful way without being eye-bleedingly horrendous like that chair. I think the message I want to convey here is to ‘Think before you UpCycle.”

This has been the top five things that should be outgrown in 2015, I hope you find humour in my words and not be offended if you’re particularly into any of the above-mentioned crimes. Just know, an invitation to Christmas next year is on the table. Your choice.

Stay tuned for part 2, “Five Things We Should Keep around for 2015”

-Hailey Jane

xx


New Youtube Video!

Everybody watch!!

Oh man, I’m such a tool….Oh well, such is life.

xx

-Miss Hailey Jane


And Now for Something Completely Different…

Huzzah! It is the hour to head towards the hectic holiday season, having hoards of happy hands held out behind hollering humans, hovering, haggling and heckling, hastily hurrying as if hounds hatched at their heels.

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I, a hapless yet hopeful henchmen of a hypothetical heroic homage, henceforth honour a healthy hiatus of this hungry highlife and in happenstance, hope to have heaps of hypnotic hugs that heat the hesitant heart to hindered hindgut.

Happy Holidays!

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From Coffee and Turtlenecks

xx – Hailey Jane

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Dream Dinner Destination: Hydra, Greece

As a young girl, on an international adventure to the far side of the world, I encountered a choice. I was on an idyllic Greek Island in the Mediterranean, wandering the light cobbled back streets, and was approached by a lovely local and after briefly chatting and getting to know one another was asked to stay for dinner. Being 18 and having a boat and head count to catch up to, I was obliged to decline and forever wonder what might have happened if I stayed that night for a once in a lifetime dinner.

Well, today we’re going to investigate the possibilities, and extrapolate in a fun and exciting way, what might have happened that evening if I had decided to stay. First I’m going to lay down some parameters. For the sake of this thought experiment, we’ll say I am 22 years old. Mostly because I wasn’t really into fancy new exciting food at 18. Secondly, it would arguably seem sorta dodgy, staying with strangers in a foreign country, so one may assume I would make better decisions at 22 than 18 (those who know me are laughing right now). Next, we’ll assume I wasn’t on a High School trip and didn’t have a boat to catch or a schedule to keep.

So let’s get crack-a-lacking shall we!

So I’ve been asked to join a local Greek family (very wholesome of course) for a delightful dinner and not having anywhere to be I agree to the generous invitation.

The first thing that crosses my mind is the realization and horror of a complete unfamiliarity of both language and culture; Particularly in a group social setting. Having only just fumbled though conversational Greek as a wandering tourist in town I have no grasp of how to sustain constant communication with another human being for longer than the thirty seconds it takes to buy some olives or a bottle of Ouzo. What in the lowest level of Hades have I got myself into?

I could solely rely on my handy dandy phrase book that has lots of useful phrases such as “efkharisto yia ti filoksenia sas” which essentially means thanks for putting up with me. But upon further investigation, I fear this book isn’t going to be as useful as previously anticipated…

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…So now that the phrasebook option is completely out the window, I’ll just have to get by with my wits about me!  The family decides it’s their weekly night to go to the local cafe for a meal, let’s say their strange uncle runs the place right on the water just to make it a family affair.

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There is a daughter roughly my age and her English is terrible, but way better than my Greek, so I do most of my communicating through her using my well known over dramatic hand gestures and repetition. Being in the same age bracket and living in the same century makes her surprisingly relateable, considering she lives on an Island that still transports goods by way of donkey. It’s a surreal experience, filled with sounds and smells I never would have dreamed of experiencing all at once. The sea waters are salty and I can smell it on the light breeze. There is spice in the air and a constant bustle as both tourists and locals flit by along the water getting to where they are going. Everyone can feel it, and it helps me take in what it must be like to live here.

At our table, the wind flutters the cream tablecloth and a massive Greek salad is brought to share among everyone. It has large chunks of Feta the size of a deck of cards just waiting to be crumbled into and I may or may not have started to salivate noticeably. A long day of climbing the hills around the town centre will do that to a girl. The tomatoes are ripe and flavourful, and the cucumbers are firm and fresh. As plates are shared, laughter ensues as I try to explain a bit more about myself; why I’ve come to this beautiful place, and where I am off to next. Laughter primarily caused by my misuse of phrases if course. Even in England I found that locals get a serious kick out of one using the wrong words according to the social standard. And that’s even in the same language. I feel like I would do my best in this situation to share in my love of Greek food, family and adventure.

After a lovely dinner I sensed my welcome had expired and with kind regards I thanked them all for their company and was on my merry way, with a few new email addresses to add to my book.

I have always felt a common ground with a certain type of person who is free spirited and open minded, and these people who have on a whim invited a total stranger to dinner are a shining example of the kindness there is out in the world. Where language is not a solid barrier; there are windows through it. All you need to do is draw back the shutters, wipe off the dust and you can see very clearly into a whole other world.

-Hailey Jane

NOTE: If you have a website that you want to easily make accessible to travellers like me I would recommend the use of translation software. It’s bloody amazing how far it’s come in the last few years, and literally translates whole foreign language webpages for them before your very eyes!

Also, the phrasebook that was handy on occasion is called The Lonely Planet Phrasebooks: Greek. 3rd Edition. It was gifted to me by my boyfriend and I will always appreciate it, even if it’s advice may lead me to do terrible terrible things.

xx


Christmas in London

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London at Christmas is, by far, the most magical place on the planet. Since visiting I have developed a deep and unwavering love of how the English flawlessly pull off this widespread holiday. I’m nearly convinced there is no actual North Pole, but instead Santa holds up in a little shop on a side street of London. Between the lights along Regent Street, The Eye, the Museums lit up at night and every single square inch of Harrods there is really no comparison to anything I’ve ever seen before; Or smelled for that matter. On Westminster Bridge there is always someone selling roast chestnuts and the moment I laid nostrils on them I would have sworn I’d never smelled anything so scrumptious.

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In North America, Christmas seems to be ALL about the commercialism, the shopping, the spending, the economy boosting power of women with credit cards and men with no time so will essentially buy anything. We just survived Black Friday and here in Canada, and although it’s not the crowd control nightmare that it is in America, I still don’t like going within a mile of any major shopping centre. I won’t dwell on the details of this strange and unnecessary tradition because frankly, it’s stressing me out. Bottom line is the ‘Holidays’  here are not so much about giving people time off to spend with their family and loved ones. They’re about long hours, out-doing both yourself and others around you, and stress in general.

While in London and its’ surrounding boroughs during the weeks leading up to Christmas, I felt a certain magical charm that came from somewhere in this city. Whether it was the meat pies in shop windows, Christmas puddings on display, a light and magical snowfall, subtle twinkling lights on everything or just the general cheeriness of everyone about, it was so lovely I swear my heart grew three sizes and I genuinely felt the true meaning of Christmas.

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So now, every year I scramble around, desperately trying to find that feeling again. I walk the streets at night, I peer into all the shop windows, I brew all the mulled wine, cider and hot chocolate I can get my hands on, but something about it all is missing. There is a London factor that’s been absent from my Christmas’s for the past few years, and no matter how hard I try to infuse it into this culture, I am simply unable to recreate it.

 

It may just be magic after all.

– Hailey Jane


Should Really Give This a Name…

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Hello Friends and welcome back to Coffee and Turtlenecks!

I have the pleasure of reporting that this week is the anniversary of this mildly entertaining blog! That’s right, believe it or not, I’ve been posting occasionally here at this imaginary place on the internet for FOUR years now! WOW, I can hardly believe it. There’s a grand total of something like 109 posts, which is a terrible average of one every two months, but let’s not look into the numbers too much. Point is, I’m still here, typing away, and dancing to strange Greek music that you’re probably glad you can’t hear. Let’s pretend that I’m just doing my best to seriously research my content….A horribly overused cliché would say something like ‘The Mona Lisa took four years to complete!’, but that would allude to an absent quality of work on these pages, as well as hint at something of an ego in the author, which we all know if extremely far from the truthiest of truths.

Thanks to all my readers of the years, and the lovely comments I get from you! It’s been fun, which is why I still do it. Life motto: If you don’t like something, don’t do it. Key to happiness right there folks.

My aspirations for this blog are grand, but in reality I’m sure you can expect more random posts about the hilarious ways I embarrass myself in my day to day life. My sister and I took a trip to Chicago in September, so maybe one day when the meed strikes me I’ll share some of that experience.

Help me keep Coffee and Turtlenecks alive! Comment, Like, Follow, Twitter…Hell, you can email me if you want! I’m always up for a chat..

Which reminds me, I’ve successfully acquired a penpal from the UK thanks to this blog, and I’m happy to say that it’s going well, the recipient of my letters is not in jail and has been enjoying them very much, as I enjoy the responses!

I’m happy to chat so don’t be a stranger!

Lots of Love!

-Hailey Jane

xx

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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHcFYKNPVDgbeHgkGEz9ZCg/videos

Email: coffeeandturtlenecks@gmail.com

Twitter: @therealhaileyj

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/HaileyJW88/

 


How to NOT Look Like a Tourist in London

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Hello friends! And welcome back to another instalment of Hailey’s travel tips. Today I have a simple life lesson that stands no real purpose other than perhaps making you feel slightly better about yourself, but in actual fact, will have little difference and no one will really notice. Because let’s face it…it’s a crazy, complicated, ever-changing world, and no one really knows what the fuck they’re doing.

I’ll also have you know, I am basically an expert in what NOT to do…as every single one of these things…I have done. Perhaps repeatedly.

Let’s get started shall we!

-Avoid taking pictures of literally everything…tube stations…street signs…pigeons….bits of writing on the ground.  It can get out of control pretty quickly. Next thing you know you’ll be snapping photo’s of empty restaurant tables and what’s on the television. Then eventually wondering why you did so several years later while trying to write a blog post about it.

-Also avoid selfies in front of national monuments and playing in red phone booths. The local consensus is to just use them for public lavatory’s.

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-Ordering a white tea, will get you a black tea with milk in it…for some reason.

-A tartan scarf and Chelsea boots isn’t enough to mask your thick Canadian accent; which until recently you didn’t realize you had.

-Stand on the right for christ sakes….escalators are your friend, but if you stand on the left, you’re going to get bowled over by am unapologetic solicitor on his way to work.

-Don’t try to pull a suitcase through the paddles at tube stations. You  may think you’re quick enough, and that your luggage is small enough…but it WILL get stuck, and a scary security guard will have to free a very embarrassed you who holds up the line, while strictly instructing that in future use the doors designed for prams and wheelchairs.

-Don’t deliberately try to speak with an accent. Nine times out of ten you come out sounding like an Australian. Dead giveaway.

-Dress in layers, sensible footwear and have an umbrella with you at all times. Tourists are generally wetter than locals.

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-When walking, if you’re very serious about blending in, walk briskly and look where you are going. Gentle saunterers who are staring at the sky are nearly always mocked by passers by…not necessarily for being a visitor, but more likely because the lack of attention paid to the walkway caused them saunter right into a post.

-Standing and looking in a confused manner at the wall-mounted spaghetti factory that is the Tube Map, is a beacon of your touristy origins.

-The NUMBER ONE way to let the world know that you’re just here to visit, is after you’ve mastered the ‘queue’ and patiently waited your turn, bought your train ticket to the destination station of your choice, and are asked by the attendant for..say… 6 pound 40, you fail in all entirety to sort through your change to find the correct denomination. A pocket full of strangely heavy, oddly shaped currency baffles you and you eventually just throw it all on the counter and hope it’s enough to cover the fare and escape the judgemental eyes of the Londoners behind you. Unless of course you were smart enough to get an oyster card…But you weren’t.

Seriously though…what on earth is the point of a tuppence! And why is it so huge if it’s not worth anything!  In a world where 5p look like dimes, 10p look like quarters and a pound is smaller than 50p, I seem to have no idea which way is up anymore.

Don’t even get me started on the inappropriately sized paper money.

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Do I blend in yet??

Thanks for stopping by, I hope you all enjoyed my rendition of how to avoid looking touristy in such a fabulous place.

xx

-Hailey Jane

(Who misses London terribly and would really like to go back again…)