Tag Archives: Dreams

Nobody Likes ‘Richard Curtis Fan Fiction’

“What a world we live in, the sad state of modern society makes me want to crawl under an overpass and die! When perfectly decent people won’t get up and read 2000 words of terribly written chicky fan fiction, it’s really just not worth living any more.”

To be entirely honest, it did break my heart a little that the Internet didn’t jump all over my last attempt at clever blogging, but I’m sure I’ll get over it. As of right now, no one has even looked at my blog in the last 12 hours, and I assume this is punishment for littering the walls of the vast and terrifying internet with more useless stories about girly things people have already written about.

Well played internet…well played.

I’ll give you all a bit of justification for the never ending fluff that was the content of my last post, entitled “Richard Curtis Fan Fiction: Notting Hill and Back Again“, but I can’t promise it’s going to be a good excuse.

I’m female…as I’m sure a few of you have deduced with your clever, clever minds, so this means I occasionally think about girly things.  Girly things include (for those of you who are out of the girly things loop): Flowers, kittens, rainbows, sweets and occasional intense bouts of sexual desire for certain male specimens. If the latest literary craze isn’t proof then I don’t know what is [RE: Fifty Shades of whatever seems to get women off these days].  These bouts tend to manifest themselves in the subconscious mind of the women in question, and eventually materialize as dreams.

More to the point of my story… I am traditionally an avid and intense dreamer. One night, one of these manifestations came to me in the depths of regular REM sleep, as one of my favourite…no….my single most favourite deliciously British public figure. The scene also, coincidentally, appeared to be set in the best place pretty much ever. I do love my brain sometimes. So the following morning, I had to do everything I could to write down the experience, and capture the intense feelings with words, so I wouldn’t lose it all forever.

And then no one read the results. Serves me right for sharing.

So a lesson to you all, no matter how many buzz words you put in your blog, which happens to be never ending tome of mundane conversation, people aren’t going to bother reading it.

End of story

Thank you and goodnight!

xx

-Miss Hailey Jane


Fun Fact Friday: Complete Randomness!

Hi there, it’s that time again! Time for me to unload some of the useless knowledge that has accumulated in my brain over the last little while. There’s no theme this week, but I don’t think that will be much of a problem. So grab a hot cup of love, and open your brain up for some unadulterated learning!

FACT: The current state of what used to be Hitler’s famous bunker in Berlin is now nothing more than a car park with a sign containing the facts. This sign is one of the very few in Berlin with Hitler’s photo on it.

 

The Car Park where the bunker used to be. Berlin, Germany.

Hitler (Left) at his bunker in Berlin.

FACT: The word for our common weed, ’dandelion’ comes from the French ‘dents de lion’ which means ‘teeth of the lion’. I have no idea what those Frenchies were thinking, dandelions look nothing like lion teeth….

FACT: Only 8-10 people in the world know the exact recipe for Heinz Ketchup. The recipe also slightly varies from country to country. For example, Canadians like their Ketchup sweeter than Americans and Mainland Europeans who like it spicier. Ketchup really isn’t all that interesting come to think of it…you can forget this one if you like.

 

FACT: The Island of Tortuga is a real island just off of Haiti. It was actually a pirate stronghold in the 17th century.

 

Tortuga: Ile de la Tortue in French.

FACT: Steve Jobs, Ben Affleck, Woody Allen, Hans Christian Anderson, Dan Ackroyd, Kate Beckinsale, James Cameron, and Mark Zuckerberg were all college dropouts.

 

FACT: A high I.Q. is linked to dream frequency.

FACT: Newborn babies always have blue eyes. Melanin (a common pigment found in nature, derived from the amino acid tyrosine) and UV light are required to reveal the colour an individual’s eyes will be for the majority of its life.

 

FACT: Spiders are one of the few groups of species in which Melanin cannot be detected. I also hate spiders with a fiery passion and think they should all die a long slow painful death.  Albinism is the result of a lack of Melanin production in the body.

 

Albino Squirrel

FACT: The vestigial human tail is called the Coccyx. Commonly called the tailbone, it is fused to the dorsal end of the sacrum, a bone comprised of a series of fused vertebrae. As a side note, when people call the coccyx a tailbone, or the clavicle a collarbone, it drives me mad.

 

Sacrum with Coccyx

FACT: Males have an undeveloped female reproductive organ that hangs on one side of the prostate gland.  If his fetus were to develop into a female, this would become the uterus.  It is called the Prostatic Utricle.

And on that lovely note…we reach the end of another Fun Fact Friday!

 

Prostatic Utricles for everyone! Except girls….we’ve got enough plumbing to deal with as it is. Does everyone else get that strange feeling when they learn about things existing and going on inside them that they didn’t already know about? I know I do. We should be given a big book on anatomy and body functions the day we’re born as a first Birthday present from the doctor that caught us. Just saying.

 

Courtesy of Dave.

-Miss Hailey Jane